photo courtsey of M. Bryant
I was recently interviewed a bit by Mens Health Magazine about wedding proposals so I thought I would share the article.
Four simple steps for an unforgettable moment
You probably don't spend a ton of time daydreaming of the moment you'll ask a girlfriend to become your wife. Most women do, though. And the story of how you propose will be repeated for years to come.
But hey, no pressure.
Relax. We've asked the experts how to prepare for a proposal that'll leave her speechless -- almost, anyway. She's got to get at least one word out.
Where to Begin
Before you ask for her hand, you ought to ask some other people for blessings. It may seem outdated, but asking parents' permission is respectful and honors tradition, says Peter Post, director of the Emily Post Institute. It's important to her as well: 81 percent of women surveyed in a joint poll by
MensHealth.com and
TheKnot.com told us they prefer he ask for one or both of her parents' consent.
Not sure they'll oblige? Take the advice of Paul Alden, president of
2propose.com, a proposal planning service: Substitute the word "blessing" for "permission."
"If you use 'permission,' what do you do if he says no? Do you go against his wishes?" Alden says. "That's a tough thing for you to start your relationship with. If you ask for a blessing, you're just saying you would like the well wishes."
Plan of Action
Incorporating personal elements tops the experts' list for an impressive proposal.
"Show that you pay attention to detail. Remember the first time you kissed; the first time you said I love you," Alden says. Make the moment "personalized to the point where she feels that no one else could have that proposal."
Think about her and her values from the start. It's perfectly acceptable, even a good idea, to talk about it. She'll likely drop useful hints. Twenty-six percent of women surveyed talked about their dream proposal before it happened, and another 31 percent felt their guy knew what she wanted, even though she didn't take part in the actual planning.
Before recruiting friends and family to get involved, realize that the more complex your plan is, the more potential there is for failure. Chances are she'd be more embarrassed than touched by a big routine, anyway.
"Stay away from the extravagant, and keep it romantic," Post says. "Something that is simple and beautiful and romantic is going to win out over something that is this huge extravaganza with all the waiters coming over and singing."
The Location
In our poll, women were all over the board with their ideal spot -- a restaurant, a landmark, at home, on vacation. But it's most important that you pick a place with meaning, a place that has a story behind it.
Is she a traditionalist? Take her back to the first place you met or went on a date, and then talk about what the future may hold. Start a dialogue that leads up to that one burning question -- and make sure you ask it. Sixty-three percent of men and 67 percent of women think the specific query, "Will you marry me?" is essential.
Surprise is important, but tough to manage. More than half of the women we surveyed rated surprise as "important" or "very important," yet 65 percent of them say they knew the question was coming. Sound contradictory? Welcome to married life, pal.
If you can't completely floor her, keep little surprises in mind: You can still shock her with the exact timing or your romantic execution.
Common Blunders
Make sure you
bring the ring -- 38 percent of women said proposing without a ring is the biggest mistake a guy can make -- but be double-sure you bring the emotion and personal significance.
"It's all about being thoughtful and personalized," says Cicely Rocha-Miller, owner of Life Design Events. "This story is going to be told forever."Keep it to yourself beforehand. Almost 60 percent of guys said they'd worry about such a mistake, and with good reason.
"The surprise is so important, so limit who you tell," says Kathleen Murray of
TheKnot.com. "You never know if someone is going to slip or start acting weird around her."
Design Board: Where the plans began for the total vision. It's so important to pull all of your pieces together in one element. This helps to bring all aspects of your design together to make sure that it matches and/or flows.
Centerpiece was very fun with an array of orchids and feathers along with a few other surprises. I love that it was encased in an over sized snifter. 
The glassware helps bring in just the right amount of pop with the overall look and colors in the design. It was very dramatic.
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